Moving abroad won't fix your life
What I've learned 15 months into moving to Portugal
More than a year ago, we packed our entire lives into a handful of suitcases and moved from the west coast of Canada to Portugal. With every goodbye I voiced, I carried a whispered hope that this dramatic change would be the panacea for all of life's challenges. As the weeks rolled on, and our new reality began to unfold, I quickly learned something crucial: moving abroad won’t fix your life.
The old adage is true: wherever you go, there you are. No matter where you go, you are still you. The struggles, insecurities, and unresolved issues I hoped to leave behind had boarded the plane with me. Changing my geographic location didn't mean I could escape myself. Although it was a harsh pill to swallow, I eventually accepted that that may not have happened with the move. What it has offered, however, has been more enriching in the form of invaluable lessons and a refreshing, life-changing perspective.
Gaining perspective
You know that feeling when you’ve been in a place too long and you suddenly realize everyone sounds, looks and acts the same? It’s a natural human instinct to blend in, but when does that tendency cross the line and cause places to start to feel dull and uninspiring? Stepping out of the familiar Canadian landscape and immersing myself in a different culture has been beyond enlightening.
Before this move, I had become stagnant and stifled. Staying in Vancouver for too long had led to a predictability that sucked the zest out of my life. Familiarity, while comforting, had also become suffocating. I found myself falling into routines, doing the same things day in and day out, and the once-bright spark of curiosity and adventure within me began to wither away. Life had become predictable, and the sense of excitement and discovery that fuels personal growth had diminished.
I stopped challenging myself to try new things. It was easier to stick to what I knew than to venture into the unknown. This stagnation affected all areas of my life, hindering my personal and professional growth. My ambitions plateaued, my creative spirit dulled, and everything felt stale and unexciting.
Since relocating to Lisbon, I’ve begun appreciating the Portuguese way of life—the slower pace, the emphasis on good food, family and community, and the appreciation for simple pleasures. These cultural nuances affirm my own life priorities and values. I’ve cultivated a daily gratitude practice, realizing that fulfillment often lies in the small, everyday moments we often overlook.
Lessons in adaptability and resilience
Navigating a new country means daily encounters with the unknown—from decoding public transportation, adjusting to local bureaucracies, or simply ordering a meal. These experiences, while daunting at first, are gradually transforming me. They’ve honed my problem-solving skills and pushed me out of my comfort zone, unveiling a more resilient and adaptable version of myself. Of course, I still experience days where it feels like nothing is going my way. I still get frustrated by the daily realities of being a working mom to two young kids, while trying to prioritize a healthy relationship with my partner where I’m showing up for his needs (or in this newborn phase, at least making it known that I intend to..).
Confidence and capability
15 months into life in my new home, I’m infinitely more capable and confident than the woman who left Canada. Every challenge conquered—finding an apartment, making new friends, or learning Portuguese—has built my self-assurance. I’ve learned to trust myself and my decisions more deeply. Each success, no matter how minor, has reinforced my belief in my own abilities. Reflecting on my journey, I marvel at my own strength and versatility.
Living without 'what ifs'
One of the most significant changes since my move is my newfound sense of gratitude. Every morning, I wake up thankful for the chance to live in a beautiful country rich in history and culture. This gratitude extends beyond the physical to the emotional and psychological realm. I’m grateful for the person I have become—more confident, self-reliant, and open-hearted. I also know that I won’t live with regrets or "what ifs". The decision to move to Portugal was a bold leap of faith into the unknown, and it’s transformed my life.
The true value of moving abroad
Moving abroad won’t magically sort out your life’s problems, but it will change how you approach facing them. It’ll teach you that you’re more resilient than you imagined and that life’s challenges are universal. You will learn to appreciate both the small victories and the substantial triumphs. You’ll gain an invaluable perspective that reconnects you with what truly matters.
So, to anyone contemplating such a move, understand that it’s not about escaping your problems or even reinventing yourself—it’s about discovering your potential to thrive. Portugal hasn’t fixed my life, but it’s given me the tools, perspective, and confidence to craft a fulfilling one.