Kumekucha
Reflections from the Swahili Coast
Kumekucha means the day has dawned (or the sun has risen). This is a Swahili phrase that has been in my head for the past fortnight. I woke up on a beautiful morning in Malindi, on the Swahili Coast and instantly felt like something was different. There was an ease, a release and a melting away of tension that i'd been experiencing. I've documented extensively how the past year has been difficult for me. Since the birth of my second child, I've struggled to readjust and come back to a place of wholeness. About six months into this second matrescence I stopped trying to get 'back' to the old me and accepted that what I needed was actually a recalibration, not a return to a previous version of self. From that point on it's felt a lot like one long dark night of the soul. But now kumekucha - the dawn has arrived.
There's nothing quite like an African sunset or sunrise. The colours more vivid, pure in the simplicity of their hues. The light in Malindi that morning felt different. I stood barefoot on the cool ground, the ocean breathing in and out just beyond the palms, and I knew in my bones that a shift had taken place.
This past year tested every part of me. Motherhood the second time around has been a new country to navigate, familiar in some ways but with landscapes that I haven’t always recognised. There have been days when I’ve moved through fog, doing what needed to be done but feeling strangely absent from myself.
When I let go of the idea that I need to find my way back to who I was before, something in me softens. I begin to see that I don’t need to reclaim an old shape but to grow into a new one. This growth is uncomfortable. It’s awkward and messy, and it can be lonely in the spaces where transformation is still invisible.
And yet here I am. Standing in the dawn. Feeling the warmth on my skin and realising that somewhere along the way, much of the heaviness has lifted. My chest feels almost open. My thoughts are not chasing each other in circles. There is ease here. There is peace.
Kumekucha. Change comes slowly, then all at once. Sometimes profound new beginnings arrive without fanfare, carried on the soft breath of the sea.
This is beautiful. I am so happy for you. I can’t wait to hear more about it. Have you ever considered creating an audio version of your posts? I was reading it in your voice thinking how lovely that would be ❤️
Wow, this resonates so deeply with me. Mid-struggle. It took me by absolute surprise. It has gotten to the point where ChatGPT reassures me I’m doing a good job…and that validation makes me CRY. This gives me a little bit of hope that a bright dawn is on the horizon somewhere. Love this so much.